Stella, my fellow scholar in Indonesia and German friend of 15 years is devastated upon learning that her 63-year-old mom has Alzheimer's disease. Her life crumbled like a cookie dipped in a frothy milkshake. Together with the rest of her family, she watches her mother slowly slip away.
I have never met Stella´s mom. Whenever I went visit Stella in Munich before, her mom wasn´t around. I knew though that she lives in Pasau. And although I haven´t met the woman, I know in my heart that she is a gentle woman. A woman with high morals and good character. I knew that she is a good mother.
The last time Stella and I spoke to each other was in November 2008. She was heartbroken because they could no longer take care of her mom and they have to put her in a hospital where she will receive proper care. I was enveloped with sadness, pity and cowardice.
As a result, I stopped talking to Stella. She stopped emailing as well. I guess, we don't really know what to say to each other anymore. Oh yes, I think about her constantly. About how it would like to witness your mom lose control of everything.
I think about them. About how they are coping with the difficult situation. But I am coward.... and I don't know what to say to her.
6 comments:
so sad. sometimes, i find that the families of alzheimer's patients need more comforting than the patients themselves. it's good to read on the condition, but, in my opinion, so as not to burden people/friends/families who are not in the health profession, sometimes just being there is enough...i'm sure stella misses you just as much...
Lual told me last night that when she was alone in the hospital waiting room during Ning's surgery, the only thing that kept her sane were some simple text messages from a classmate who just happened to say hi, unaware of what she was going through. Mag-hi ka lang kay Stella without glossing over the fact that you lost touch for a while. Letting her know that you THOUGHT of her might be enough. (Bagan na ako si Helen Vela didi, hehe)
if i were you, i'd send her an email to ask her about how she's doing. or a card (if you know her address) to let her know that you think about her. sometimes all we need is just an ear to listen or eyes to read about our problems...
:)
I would tell you to step up because now is the time your friend needs help, more than ever. there are happy moments, even in the sadness, look for them.
Thanks,everyone, for your lovely post. The things is, I know what I should do. I'm just too selfish a person, I guess. But you're all right. Thanks, again.
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