Friday, May 11, 2012


Dealing with grief is perhaps one of the most difficult things in life.

When Hubby met an accident and passed away on April 1st, my life has been on-hold. It has been like that for the past 6 weeks now. Some days are betters days... but there are those days & moments that had been quite devastating and difficult.

In the midst of this emotional turmoil, there are some people who thought they know better and told me how I should feel. There were also those people who had shown greed, pretense, unscrupulousness, and fake compassion.

Others have stayed away like I'm a terrifying leper from the Biblical times. And a chosen few have been so sympathetic and have said & done the kindest thing. Even in grieving, I have learnt a great deal about about life, people around me, and also about myself.

For example, losing Hubby has taught me that my grief is my own. No one knows how I feel or what I should feel. I can't even tell myself how to feel. The pain is raw and it goes with me 24/7.

So how do we deal with grief? That's the big question.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Garden talk.

So I was sitting outside with some new acquaintances in this beautiful garden west of Edinburgh. The sky all blue, the wind blowing everything away, and I was in deep thought when my attention was suddenly caught by someone speaking with a very distinct, Scottish accent.

Lady 1: I was at my GP today. You know what I read on her notice board? An article about angry people being more prone to having cancer.

Lady 2: (wide-eyed)  Really?

Guy 1: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Lady 1: It absolutely makes a lot sense.

Guy 1: Nonsense!

Lady 2:  (somewhat confused now.)

Lady 1: Well, it says in that article that when people are angry, their bodies tend to produce more toxins.

Guy 1:  That's rubbish. Mother Theresa died of cancer. I don't think she's one hell of an angry person, was she?

Everybody fell in thoughtful silence. While I was trying to recall what caused Mother Theresa's death, I couldn't help but smile. This is Scotland, the land of the brave.