Friday, May 11, 2012


Dealing with grief is perhaps one of the most difficult things in life.

When Hubby met an accident and passed away on April 1st, my life has been on-hold. It has been like that for the past 6 weeks now. Some days are betters days... but there are those days & moments that had been quite devastating and difficult.

In the midst of this emotional turmoil, there are some people who thought they know better and told me how I should feel. There were also those people who had shown greed, pretense, unscrupulousness, and fake compassion.

Others have stayed away like I'm a terrifying leper from the Biblical times. And a chosen few have been so sympathetic and have said & done the kindest thing. Even in grieving, I have learnt a great deal about about life, people around me, and also about myself.

For example, losing Hubby has taught me that my grief is my own. No one knows how I feel or what I should feel. I can't even tell myself how to feel. The pain is raw and it goes with me 24/7.

So how do we deal with grief? That's the big question.


Aledys Ver said...

Oh dear, this is very sad news, I can't believe this has happened to you! I'm sorry! Was it 1st April this year? How terrible for you, how terrible for your family.

Indeed, no one can tell you how you have to feel, or guess how you must be feeling right now, only you can know that. Unfortunately, no one can take the pain away.
People sometimes say whatever they think is best at such times and many don't do it out of wickedness but from their hearts believing that it's the right thing to say to someone who's going through what you are going through right now.

I am truly sorry and I honestly hope that you can find some comfort in those true friends who stay by your side in your hour of grief.

A virtual hug,


Isabella J said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! Here I have come to see how things are going on your blog, as it's been nearly forever since I've been able to check on my favorite blogs, and I'm so sorry to find you at this point. I hope you'll be surrounded by only those who care & can give you the support you need at this time.

Aristarkhos said...

I came to pay a visit to give my usual, hello stranger routine... I am finding this difficult to take in. Do you live alone now? I hope someone stays with you - your husband's parents? You shouldn't have to deal with the grief on your own... anyone from your side of the family from Philli?

I wish I could help in some way... :(