Grief.

Dealing with grief is perhaps one of the most difficult things in life.

When Hubby met an accident and passed away on April 1st, my life has been on-hold. It has been like that for the past 6 weeks now. Some days are betters days... but there are those days & moments that had been quite devastating and difficult.

In the midst of this emotional turmoil, there are some people who thought they know better and told me how I should feel. There were also those people who had shown greed, pretense, unscrupulousness, and fake compassion.

Others have stayed away like I'm a terrifying leper from the Biblical times. And a chosen few have been so sympathetic and have said & done the kindest thing. Even in grieving, I have learnt a great deal about about life, people around me, and also about myself.

For example, losing Hubby has taught me that my grief is my own. No one knows how I feel or what I should feel. I can't even tell myself how to feel. The pain is raw and it goes with me 24/7.

So how do we deal with grief? That's the big question.

Garden talk.

So I was sitting outside with some new acquaintances in this beautiful garden west of Edinburgh. The sky all blue, the wind blowing everything away, and I was in deep thought when my attention was suddenly caught by someone speaking with a very distinct, Scottish accent.

Lady 1: I was at my GP today. You know what I read on her notice board? An article about angry people being more prone to having cancer.

Lady 2: (wide-eyed)  Really?

Guy 1: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Lady 1: It absolutely makes a lot sense.

Guy 1: Nonsense!

Lady 2:  (somewhat confused now.)

Lady 1: Well, it says in that article that when people are angry, their bodies tend to produce more toxins.

Guy 1:  That's rubbish. Mother Theresa died of cancer. I don't think she's one hell of an angry person, was she?


Everybody fell in thoughtful silence. While I was trying to recall what caused Mother Theresa's death, I couldn't help but smile. This is Scotland, the land of the brave.